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Christian is getting married and he is registered at the world famous "Kwok Brothers Chinese Grocery". Post to Christian if you think he is missing any essentials from the list. And check back soon for updates to this list. Also don't forget to check out all the Kwok Brothers Commercials.
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- Super Spicy Shrimp Scented Bath Candles
- Sea Monkeys Kit
- General Tso's Towels - Soft and Absorbent. The General had sensitive skin
- The Bruce Lee Juicer. (You get a glass of the freshest, most nutritious juice on earth.)
- Choppy Choppy Steak Knives
- Jackie Chan Signature Wok and Accompanying Chris Tucker Salad Shooter
- Connie Chung & Maury Pauvich's Politically Correct Version Of "The Five Chinese Brothers"
- Yao Ming's Instructional Video, "Dancing The Perfect Jitterbug With Your Sweetheart"
- The Little Red Toiletry Bag of Mao
- Dim Sum Automotive Roadside Assistance (One Year Subscription)
- The Peking Duck Feather Duvet. (Every feather plucked by Auntie Kwok. Excuse the cigarette ash if you find any.)
- Confuscious Family Planning Kit
- Shofar fried rice with real ram's horn. Guarantee you have male child or your money back. (And PRC g man at your door)
- DMZ Whittlin' kit
- The Egg Drop Toupe. (Because nothing ruins a wedding night like Alopecia.)
*also available: The Gherkin Merkin. (Made almost entirely out of Chinese Sweet Pickles. You No Ask - JUST BUY!)
- Finally honoring that restraining order. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
- Uigher-owler tissue dispenser with built-in ornamental scent
(for when the party doesn't sit well with you)
- Dog (if little dogs, you get eggroll)
- Hop Sing's western "Chow Mix" made with essence of rat and poodle. Limited time: free dinner gong when you purchase a case.
- David Carridine's newlywed marital aid kit. Package includes a rope and full color instructional booklet. Expansion pack, resuscitation kit, and third party postitute is extra.
- Smittens
- Microwave Dinner items:
Sweet and Sour Siamese
South Florida Mermaid (Carp with teats)
- From the Kwok Brothers literary section, a cookbook: 101 ways to Wok your dog
- Thr Shoalin master autoeroticism set. As endorsed by David Carradine
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