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Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot February 26, 2015
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
If people couldn't complain about it on Twitter, would anyone still watch the Oscars?... I think Putin looks like the Oscar... I'd love to see MST3K do "Foxcatcher"... I'm really afraid of Alzheimer's. If I get it, nobody's gonna know. They'll just go "can you believe those references? Wow, he's hot tonight!"... Most telling thing about Obama's attention to detail is that he'll have to have his "Enemies List" revealed to him on prompter... Nowadays, identity thieves want a lot less out of you than the government... Obamacare frightens me because if there's one thing that operates more clunkily than a completely corrupt businessman, it's a bureaucrat at peak efficiency... I find myself in a Kafka novella trying repeatedly (and unsuccessfully) to delete a Kafka e-book from my iPad... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot February 19, 2015
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
I'm assuming "50 Shades of Grey" reads like "The Handcuffs of Madison County," right?... Going to see the new Mitch McConnell biopic "50 Shades of Grey." I'll let you know... We've become so politically correct in this country that we now call people from India "Native Americans"... A new study shows that 1 out of 3 Illinois residents lives in or near poverty, a number that's been climbing for over 3 decades. So there's that for everyone who says that rampant liberalism and crony capitalism have no room for growth... Once there was The Greatest Generation, now we have The Gratingest Generation... Forget NASA's Muslim outreach. The Muslim world won't want to go to the moon until the day after Jews set up Israel there... Having one of those days where I feel like I'm flying by the seat of someone else's pants... Does anything denote you as 'in-the-box' more than using the term 'outside-the-box?... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot February 12, 2015
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Can't wait till the robots start to unionize!... If Williams turns up Sunday Night with PLA Head Tommy Flanagan and says "That's the ticket!" you'll know he's not coming back. #williams... "Misremember the Maine!"... "Match me, Sidney"... What would Tom Grunick do?... Don't look at me, I didn't vote for him... Ahh, who am I to judge? It would appear I'm just a Herb Stempel in a Charley Van Doren world... The next cage will have feral dogs in it and Obama will then finally be fully invested in the War on Terror to accrue the Animal Rights vote... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot February 5, 2015
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
The experts who muffed the East Coast storm forecast are the same ilk who assure you that Islam is the religion of peace... Never have lives less lived been more chronicled... That's what you get for your citizenship these days - you pay in... All female "Ghostbusters," huh? All right and how's about an all male "The View"?... I'm leaning towards "Jenn Brucer"... Under Obama, eggshells are the new linoleum... All of a sudden Nancy Snyderman looks like Aung San Suu Kyi... I like the Jordanian approach. An eye for an EI-YI-YI-YI-YI!!!!... Harry Reid is an absolute waste of first aid tape... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot January 29, 2015
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Ya' think we're taking football a little too seriously these days?... Re: Deflate-gate. Not since the Plumbers broke into Larry O'Brien's office has a more superfluous edge been sought... Next, they'll make Brady go meet with Sharpton... The ball boy? That's like blaming some kid down in steerage for not spotting the iceberg... I know one thing. The Patriot's ball boy is about to start sharing a cell with the filmmaker who caused Benghazi... Gitmo will end up being emptied out except for the ball boy for the Patriots... Harry Reid says due to his training accident, he cannot read what's in front of him. Yeah? Pretend it's a healthcare act... I get the feeling the only exercise Michael Moore ever gets is walking back stupid statements... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot January 22, 2015
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
I believe the Trivago Guy is one of the advance reptilian scout team from "V"... Snoop Dogg is the Foster Brooks of cannabis... I think moderate Islam should be organizing a "Million Muslim March" to protest these atrocities - guys?... Does Obama bug you? Gird your loins, because Elizabeth Warren makes Barack Obama look like Wendell Willkie... I do find Obama Churchillian - unfortunately it's Ward and not Winston... "Are we not men?... We are Davos! Are we not men?... We are Davos!"... Kerry now says he meant to go over with Jim Taylor, undoubtedly the toughest 215 LB. SOB in the entire history of the league. #thebaddestofbadasses... I reiterate, Roger Goodell's got the NFL so messed up I'm surprised he isn't Time Magazine's Man Of The Year... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot January 15, 2015
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Barbara Boxer is the single stupidest public figure I've ever seen... Barbara Boxer could lose a game of Hangman to a box of hair... Barbara Boxer's seat in Congress will become empty in 2016, but not nearly as empty as it is when she sits in it... Somewhere down the line, I hope Barbara Boxer leaves her lack of a brain to science... It's turning into 1920's Chicago with people who don't believe in drinking... I had a pretty good shrug weekend. Obviously, not as good as Obama shrugging Paris... Obama's now officially creepy about Islamic Terrorism... Well, at least we didn't send Jar-Jar Biden... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot January 8, 2015
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Anyone have a forwarding address for Ebola? It's been months since we've heard anything... I put getting bold, visionary leadership out of the Republicans on the same never-gonna-get-it wish list as De Niro making good movies again... I hope to honor the memory of those killed in the horrific events in Paris. The President will take at least one day off from emptying Gitmo. Just one... The Western World is past suicidal in not reacting to the Paris attack. We're standing on the ledge with an inner ear infection... Mike Pereira IS the NFL!... The NFL's problem is that it's the world's most touchy, delicate, violent, brutal sport. Hockey Rules!... There is an I in teiam... Almost that time of the year when we watch the Stars pretend that the People's Choice Award is the one that "really matters"... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot December 18, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Under the First Lady's new obesity guidelines, you are not allowed to bet someone a dollar to a donut anymore... Also under the guidelines, any cookies left out for Santa this year must be gluten-free... I see they've changed "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" a little. Herbie no longer wants to be a dentist because of stipulations in Obamacare... According to the CDC, flu season in the United States is off to its earliest start in a decade. Great. If this trend continues, soon it'll be starting in October like the Christmas decorations... The National Organization for Women issued a statement that President Obama's cabinet should be half female. Biden misunderstood the statement and went out and got breast implants... I don't begrudge Obama his vacations. It's all the time in between his vacations that I find he does a crappy job... Tony Robbins seminars are less fawning than the press corps is for Barack Obama... Man, there are some angry drivers out there. You know what my new greeting is to people? "Hi - get some help"... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot December 11, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
I still respect the office, but I don't respect the man anymore. Really Barack? Al Sharpton?... Obama will approve the Keystone Pipeline as long he's allowed to move illegals through it... Just saw Obama's new pick for Secretary of Defense. Is that Buddy Hackett's son Sandy?... Are we really willing to trust that, if Iran gets the bomb, they won't immediately use it on Israel? Depending on the good offices of bad people seems like a no-win to me... You can't compare the War on Terror to the Cold War. Nikita Khrushchev at his shoe-bangingest looks positively quaint next to these lunatics... Politics is religion for atheists... You just know that if you hired Biden to mow your lawn, within ten minutes he'd be knocking at your door clutching a bloody stump because he reached under to pull a clump of grass out without turning the mower off. Well, since we can't trust him to mow the lawn, let's make him the second most powerful man in the world... This administration won't be happy until the only people in Gitmo are the ones who interrogated the former Gitmo detainees... And dot's dot, folks!
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Autographed copies available. Makes great gifts!
Available at a great price - While they last!
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