Homepage Newsletter ad
Subscribe now and listen to shows commercial-free
Already a member?
Call the show LIVE
Mon-Fri, Noon-3PM EST
866-509-RANT [7268]
Membership Ad
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot October 16, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
I predict in Variety in the next 5 working days you'll read that "Sharkbola" has been greenlit... Should you panic about Ebola? No. Should you trust these government clowns when they tell you not to panic about Ebola? Also no... Try telling a global warming fanatic "don't panic" and watch how quickly they go nuts... We don't fix anything anymore. The fix is to tell people not to panic about the things we haven't fixed... Things are going "swimmingly" in America under Obama. Much like how "A Star Is Born" ended for Norman Maine... I can think of no one who represents modern liberalism more accurately than Big Eddie Schultz! #congratsbigman... It's not Andy Griffith Nation anymore, it's Barney Fife Nation... Don't look at me, I didn't vote for him... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot October 9, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Wasn't Bo Bergdahl the Hee Haw dog's name?... I'm hearing rumblings that Obama wants to put boots on the ground in China because they won't assist in the War on Global Warming... I know the White House isn't into it, but I would encourage them to establish a border around the White House... We spend all our time talking about ice and not enough time talking about ISIS... I guess I'm just going to have to trust that Obama and the Progressives know what they're doing here killing anything that moves... Nobody shoots his cuffs more after he's had his ass handed to him than Barack Obama... Reason the Marine's still in the Mexican jail is that this administration is not going to fight against any federal gun laws, even Mexico's... If Affleck were an actor in the Muslim world, he'd have an Oscar for a movie called "Good Will Decapitated"... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot October 2, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Ironically, the 49ers, due to Federal and State Income Taxes, only get to keep 48% of their salaries... Ala L'affaire Redskins, American ranch hands are now petitioning Jerry Jones and his team to stop using "Cowboys"... What'll eventually bring down Goodell is a Workplace Harassment Suit brought against him by a draft pick who feels he takes the hug too far... The NFL's eating itself alive and the amuse bouche was hiring Goodell. As they pursue perfect, they're not even getting things right anymore... Goodell is Obama-brilliant... Obama needs to replace Holder with someone even more blindly allegiant who will sacrifice his ethics for his boss. Gotta be Goodell, right?... Don't fret, you'll next hear from Eric Holder on Jan. 19, 2017 when he expedites the final day pardon of Mumia Abu-Jamal. #frauncestavern... I know laxity is the new coin of the realm, but I think it would be best to not treat this virus like a fence jumper at the White House... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot September 25, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
I'm working on an internet store that sells only brick and mortar... The only way Obama will declare war on ISIS is if he discovers they use unleaded instead of biofuel in their truck bombs... Pumping up the Syrian rebels is akin to giving the 3 Stooges a ball-peen hammer... It's the upside down arc of voting "Present" in the Illinois State Legislature and then "Not Present" in the Oval Office that rubs people the wrong way... When Obama shoots from the hip, all it does is show us how hipless he is... Me thinking that Obama stinks at his job is not the reason Obama stinks at his job... The world looks at the US as "Churchillian." Sadly, Ward, not Winston... If 2016 turns out to be Hillary vs. Christie, let's skip the debates and just pit them in a hot dog eating contest... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot September 18, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Maybe Dan Snyder is as slow on the uptake as they say he is. Shocked he didn't Castle and pick up Michael Sam up off the waiver wire... I find Goodell very presidential... The Trivago guy has now creeped me to the point that I can't watch Dr. Zhivago anymore... The Prez is very self-assured. Cups and saucers in the debris field between his promises and what he's delivered are in eerie alignment... As his fans jump ship, the contrarian in me dictates I now say Barack Obama is the single greatest president we've ever had. #yeahright... Just heard audio of the Prez at Stonehenge telling it to "slow down a little" and free itself up from "RockBlock." #29hrdruidworkweek... Obama will soon be sending out "save the date" cards to ISIS to let them know when the air strikes are coming... People ask "how can you even imagine Joe Biden as President?". I can't imagine a BS'er like him working anyplace else... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot September 11, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
James O'Keefe snuck across the border dressed as Osama bin Laden. If he wanted to get arrested, he should've dressed as a Tea Partier... Obama's idea of a top-level briefing - meeting with his caddy to discuss pin placement... The guy's in Martha's Vineyard more frequently than George Washington was...Could he at least have the flags on the pins placed at half mast?... Obama went to Estonia to lecture Putin. Ironic, since I'm pretty sure that was Obama's nickname back in the Choom Gang... Biden's promise to "fight ISIS at the Gates of Hell" is the most vainglorious example of kicking the can down the road in history. #jarjarjoe... The fact that we can't agree on whether it's ISIS or ISIL tells you everything you need to know about the contretemps... Don't look at me, I didn't vote for him... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot August 14, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
Why we bustin' on Israel? Hows about we here in the States go back to our '67 Border? Clarity begins at home. #fakinlikeIknowwhatsgoingon... I never thought the press corps would be THIS complicit... Ferguson Mayor says most looters are out-of-towners. He's late to the party on this. I've been advocating locally-sourced, sustainable looting for decades... Forget the fence. At this point, I'd be willing to accept making illegals stop at a Sonic drive-thru window... When America's the most benevolent place on earth, and the international pecking order flowchart re-aligns so that we're not top dog any more, I don't think it's good for the world at large... I heard Sarah Palin's getting a cooking show where she makes impeach cobbler... Hate Obama because he's black? Listen, the only thing I still dig about him is that he's black. It's the rest of it that I don't get... Don't look at me, I didn't vote for him... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot August 7, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
"Mr. Putin - rebuild that wall!"... "Paging Mr. Francis Gary Powers, Paging Mr. Francis Gary Powers"... Scott Summers' eyes open wider than Kenny Rogers'... It's an affront that when Liberals demand we help people, they lump the needy in with the seedy... Would that our borders were as unassailable as the end paragraph of a liberal's sob-story narrative... Anybody remember the good olde days when two hours wasn't a cease fire but rather a pee break?... "Player safety isn't everything; it's the only thing." Vince Lombardi... I'm too lazy to have Restless Leg Syndrome... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot July 31, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
I'm amused by people who incessantly jump on the "you're just a band wagoner" bandwagon. #sadlittleniche... It's getting to the point where the ONLY thing I like about Obama is that he's black... I get the feeling that the Obama Administration finds Issa more disruptive than ISIS... Carville can now go back under the rock and protect Dobbsy's share of the gold... Hey, where's Jar Jar Biden been lately?... Obama's Presidency has been collapsing ever since Chico Ruiz stole home... Unfortunately, I drew Obama in my Presidential Mauch Draft... Anybody know what Marie Osmond has been up to lately?... And dot's dot, folks!
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot July 24, 2014
Dennis Dot-Dot-Dot
It's a bad idea to put an expiration date on our troop presence. It's not a jug of milk, people... You get the feeling it's easier to get into this country now than it is to get out?... "I'll have the GlobalWarmed CrackPie sliced with a dull knife (don't like clear borders) a dollop of Class Envy and hold the reinforcements"...Bill Ayers, the tenured terrorist. You never saw Emiliano Zapata at a CVS counter arguing over a Propecia co-pay... When Obama says he's going to act on his own - he's not gonna become a coyote, is he?... I wish Russia would take over OUR country, because at least then we'd have a border... I wish Obama held the Muslim Brotherhood in as much disdain as he did the Tea Party... Looks like John Roberts is going to have to save it twice... And dot's dot, folks!
The poll that tells you which way the wind is blowing.
Who should be the DMZ Laugh Laureate?
 Gene in Philly
 Rob Laurich
 Karl Zahn
See Results
In what is quickly becoming a cult classic on the show, The Kwok Brothers.
Available at a great price - While they last!
Stay warm anywhere you want while still having your hands free to do other things.
Make a statement with this shirt!
In what is quickly becoming a cult classic on the show, The Kwok Brothers.
Available at a great price - While they last!
Popular Topics
2012 2012 Elections Annotated Miller Bathrobe Sessions Comedy Dennis on Fox Dennis's Oprah's Book Club Elections Featured Caller Friend of the Show GOP Primary Michael Yon Mitt Romney Movies Music Newt Gingrich NFL Obama Obamacare Rants Rich Eisen SNL TV Upcoming Appearances Videos
Copyright © 2014 Dial Global, Inc. All rights reserved.
Terms & Conditions  |  Privacy Policy
Powered by Nox Solutions LLC.