May 16, 2013
Posted by Dennis Miller
Jodi Arias should have to share a quad with the Beagle Boys from Cleveland for the rest of time...The White House marked Mother's Day by celebrating Obamacare's free birth control on Twitter. Probably their most awkward tweet since their "I love ham" campaign during Rosh Hashanah...Max Baucus is retiring after calling the Obamacare bill he helped write "a train wreck." I've got a new idea to fix the economy - build a foot-high tollbooth on the outskirts of DC and make everyone who has the Road Runner cloud away from this piece of crap at least kick in a quarter on the way out...Journalistic integrity these days makes a house of cards look like a Normandy bunker...The press are such ass-kissers and Obama just keeps saying "kiss my ass." It's a match made in heaven...If Obama has another couple days like he just had, he's going to insist he was born in Kenya...Dick Cheney said that President Obama was involved in an "ongoing Benghazi coverup." Jay Carney immediately responded with a press release that said in all caps, "HALLIBURTON!"...If Valerie Jarrett had a buzzcut, she'd be H.R. Haldeman...Jay Carney blows more smoke than a Rastafarian death-rattle...Jay Carney has a worse bluff than Marty Feldman with pocket aces... And dot's dot, folks!