July 10, 2014
Posted by Dennis Miller
Is it just me, or does the World Cup trophy resemble a hernia test by committee?...When they take a soccer player off the pitch in that bin it's like you ordered a doll that cries from an Amazon Wish-Fulfillment Center...Soccer's offside rule just caused Stephen Hawking to sputter "suffering succotash!"...This just in! International Institute of Aphorisms (IIA) has just replaced "selling ice to Eskimos" with "scalping tix in Rio this Sunday"...So, is the Heimlich a red card?...Hockey players must look at soccer players in the same way centurions observed lyre harpists...I blame the transformation of the economy over the last eight years on Optimus Sub-Prime...I don't want to sound like a climate change denier, but you know what would REALLY creep me out? If the global temperature stayed exactly the same, year after year, for decades... And dot's dot, folks!