April 4, 2013
Posted by Dennis Miller
To avoid offending anyone, the White House decided to call this year's Easter Egg Roll the "Early Spring Unfertilized Chicken Embryo Roll featuring The Holiday Rabbit"...Obama is a God to the left because he can turn water into whining...Henceforth, April 1st will now be known as "Biden's Day"...President Obama will unveil a decades-long project to map the human brain, the principal purpose of which is to figure out how a man clearly without any brain function at all can still ascend to the office of the vice-presidency...If Tony Romo owned the Cowboys he would not have given Tony Romo that contract. When Jerry got his lift they severed a discernment lobe...By the way, if you disagree vociferously with Goddell on this new helmet rule, the next move will be to insinuate you're pro-spinal injury...President Obama is leaning toward picking Caroline Kennedy to be the next U.S. ambassador to Japan. Oh, good. She'll be able to say "like" 10 times in one sentence in Japanese...Samoan Air has become the first airline to start charging customers according to how much they weigh. You've seen these Samoans in the NFL. Are they charging them extra if they're NOT north of 300?...A new poll shows that 50% of Americans think the Bilderberg Group may secretly rule the world. An organization that relies on intrusion by covert means? Maybe people have it confused with Bloomberg's group...That same poll shows that 25% of Americans think that Obama may be the Anti-Christ. Don't know about that, but count me among those who think that Biden has drank anti-freeze... And dot's dot, folks!