February 28, 2013
Posted by Dennis Miller
If people couldn't complain about it on Twitter, would anyone still watch the Oscars?...I'm surprised Michelle Obama didn't announce that all 9 pictures nominated for Best Picture would each get 1/9th of the trophy...I watched the Lakers/Nuggets game and was surprised that, fresh off her Oscar appearance, Michelle Obama made that half-court shot for $14,000 at halftime...Where will we see Barack make a surprise appearance? I think I heard he'll be on "The Bachelor"...How long until we see the President before movies asking us to turn our cell phones off?...Bloomberg's large soda ban will also eliminate 2-liter bottles of soda delivered with pizzas as well as pitchers of soda at restaurants. Michael Bloomberg is now just one step short of actually taking candy from babies...In their latest Batman comic, DC Comics has killed Robin. This would be the third time they've done this. At this point, killing off Robin is like DC's version of the NFL breaking out throwback jerseys...Small men are drawn to rotundas because it's the only way they can resonate...I hear Chris Christie is now on board with Obamacare. Must've heard that gastro-staples are covered...At his confirmation hearing, Chuck Hagel looked like David Letterman if a Kenworth truck horn had gone off right next to his head... And dot's dot, folks!