June 13, 2013
Posted by Dennis Miller
When Castro dies, can we have him cremated, rolled into a cigar, smoke him, and when someone asks say, "I'm smoking a...make that THE Cuban"...I had my Bilderberg group therapy session today and they feel I'm not secretive enough emotionally...The Bible is now the #1 best-selling book in Norway. I think it's because so many people realize the only way to survive socialism is with deep and fervent prayer...Attorney General Eric Holder conceded that "things have gotten a little out of whack" with regards to secretly pulling records on reporters. The statement was issued as a preamble to the announcement that Holder has taken an additional role in the administration as the Secretary of Understatement...Out of political correctness, the next thing you'll hear is that the only phones not tapped in America are calls from here to the Mid-East...Speaking of which, why is the Mid-West so much more mellow than the Mid-East?...I might as well say I find the President and the NSA creepy on Twitter because it appears he'll know about it even if I say it in private...Liberals strike at a faux insult like a bonefish hitting a crab shuffling its fins in the marl. Try it, it's fun...Joey Crawford is "bend forks with his face" handsome...What's with Manu? He looks shakier than a rescue dog in Phil Spector's house... And dot's dot, folks!